Share Your Journey
This is a place where I hope that as you read about my miracles that you may want to share your stories as well. Every validation no matter how grand or how small will lift your heart. Please leave your comments or email them to me at firstname.lastname@example.org , and I will share them too.
My husband and I were living the ultimate American dream. We had a wonderful family and were proud parents of four beautiful sons. We were so busy enjoying and living life. It was springtime and everything was a buzz as we were making final plans to support two of our boys; who were members of the Syracuse University Men’s lacrosse team, as they competed in the National Championship Games. Then without warning our lives were shattered. Everything that we knew and trusted was ripped from our grasp leaving this unimaginable gaping hole. In the spring of 2008 our son Aaron was killed in a motorcycle accident.
At that time I was not convinced by any stretch of the imagination that there was anything after death, but I also could not accept that he was taken from us. I knew that I had to find a way to fix this horrible tragedy, but how? The hurt was indescribable. I just could not get my head around that this was it, he was gone. How could that be? He was our son, he was supposed to be with us, we were supposed to take care of him and protect him. This pain was too much.
A few months after Aaron’s death I met a Medium, Melanie May and as we later learned, our meeting was completely orchestrated by Aaron. I was reluctant to trust in the abilities of a medium but on the other hand, I would do anything, take any risk to try to get my son back in anyway that I could have him. When I met with Melanie, she told me things that changed my life completely again. She told me things from my son that no one else could know. She told me specific thoughts that I had had about a book that I was reading, and she described in detail the plaque that his dad was making to honor his life. When speaking on the phone she told me right down to the color of the clothes that I was wearing, where I was standing at the moment and the description and color of the coffee cup in my hand. The messages from Aaron that he told Melanie to relay to me were specific and current. He told her to tell me these things so that I would trust that it was really him, and that he was still with me only in a different form. This experience was so foreign yet so very consistent with his personality and his way of doing things. Aaron was always bigger than life. You knew he was there even before he entered the room. With Aaron, if you knew him, you got all of him, all great big 6’3, here I am package. So, his methods of getting his messages to me and the things that he told Melanie were as if he were right there in the room with me. He was so insistent and demanding at times that Melanie would start to shake if she tried to put off his requests for her to call me.
Aaron told us that there was a much bigger picture to all of what has happened. Part of this bigger picture is that I would write about my miraculous journey, to help others to know that our loved ones are still with us, only their physical life ends. My journey of miracles has happened so that I could know that my son is still very much with me and with us all. I have documented each miracle and message, they are true and as they happened. Many times I would doubt that this could really be happening, thinking that I have made up each message because it is what I so desperately wanted to hear, only to receive the next validation proving to me again and again that he is there.
I have found my son again, or I should say that he has found me and at his insistence I have opened my heart and my mind to this different world.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
I hope that we see you there :)
Friday, October 28, 2011
So, as I was mowing the lawn last week, I heard a thought; clear as a bell in my head that said, "You're living only in the dead". Hmmm. I really thought it was just my own conversation with myself in my head and that was all. My next thoughts went straight to; " I need to be more present with my boys, I haven't been there 100% as I should be". This realization hit me as if a light went off. I didn't even realize it or admit it before, but I have been pretty self absorbed in my world of hurt even though I didn't think that it effected anyone else. I continued tho think about this as I finished the lawn, sometimes psyching myself up to charge ahead and start to live life again to the fullest, then my thoughts would drift back to thinking, 'What's the point?"
The next morning, I received a call from my dear friend Melanie, and she had some harsh scolding from my son. Even though Aaron hasn't been around lately with many messages, I guess that I knew that there was somewhere in that fact too, a lesson for me. I have had this constant pecking at me (that's how I describe it, because it won't go away, it just keeps coming back even though it is slightly uncomfortable and you really don't want to deal with it). Somehow, I knew without discussing it with anyone that Aaron has held back from his many and constant messages to force me to move ahead with life. I knew this in my gut, but I really didn't want to acknowledge it, not to anyone.
So, when Aaron finally did show up with his messages for me that morning, it really wasn't anything that I hadn't already heard him telling me- I just didn't realize that it was him all along. As Melanie started to relay his message for me that morning, she was hesitant because she did not want to offend me. "Aaron says that you have your heels dug in and your fists are clenched; you are not accepting that this is your life now. It can't go back to how it was." Ha, that's Aaron. No sugar coating things with that boy. But, I knew that what she was saying was true, I just didn't think that I was ready or willing to say it out loud. Aaron, obviously had been patient long enough and was determined to push me forward. Not that I am a willing participant, but really, who can fight with that?
So, I made a vow to myself to really try to be open to this new acceptance, even though I didn't say that I agree with it, but that I will make an honest effort.
The next morning I got myself up and out the door; off to Melanie's office to get back to work. As I entered onto the highway the first thing that I noticed was a truck going by me in the opposite direction- "Aaron's" it said on the side in big blue letters. Immediately after the truck passed, a blue heron flew right across the road in front of my car. (The blue heron is the bird that Aaron sends as a sign from him)
I know that he likes to act all big and tough with me sometimes, to help me face the hard stuff. But at the end of the day, he always backs it up with great big "Aaron" hug.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Just like all of us, Melanie is always longing to hear messages from her beloved father-in-law; Pop. Even though she is a true medium, she cannot always get communications from her people when ever she wants them, she has to ask and wait sometimes, like you and me. A couple of days ago, Melanie asked Pop to send her a Blue Jay. Pop usually sends a Cardinal as his sign, but sometimes he will send a Blue Jay and this is what she asked for. A couple of days went by and no sign of a Blue Jay. Melanie had received a card in the mail and as she was cleaning up she picked up the card to throw it in the trash. All of a sudden, she said that she was told very strongly to "stop, look at the card before you throw it out." There on the front of the card was a tree with a Blue Jay in it.
There, on the card, was just what she had asked for, only she was looking in the wrong places. We often ask for signs, guidance, or help from our loved ones just to assure us that they are still there. I think that almost all of the time, they do grant our requests and try repeatedly to let us know that they are there.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
And then yesterday afternoon.....
I was meeting Melanie for a quick lunch while I was running around getting supplies for my next event. We were both going to be on the same side of town so we decided to meet for a quick bite and to catch up. On the way, my youngest son, Jeffrey called me and since he had a break from classes for a while he decided that he would join us too. (He also needed to hit me up for some college cash- I wonder if that had anything to do with the impromptu visit ? hmmm.) But, neither one of us cared what Jeffrey's real motives were, we were glad to have him with us and for the time to sit and catch up with him.
Jeffrey was getting ready to head back to school after some good food and some good talk and all of a sudden Melanie asked him who's jacket did he have on. He was wearing a lacrosse jacket that had the number 42 on it. Jeffrey said that it was either Kyle's or Thomas' from school. Melanie said that Aaron was telling her that it was his and as she looked at the number 42 on the jacket, he was showing her by making the numbers glow. Melanie said that Aaron said that it was his number. Melanie looked at Jeffrey and I with a confused look on her face. "Why is he telling me that it's his?" Melanie had no way of knowing because she did not know us back then, but all four of the boys always wore the number 42.
That's all I needed. Just a quick hello from him to let us know that he is with us. It's not the message that is always so important, but who is sending it. Keep the faith.
Monday, September 12, 2011
On Friday afternoon, before the Open Reading, I got in the car to run some errands. As I started to drive out of my driveway, I noticed this ever so tiny, green head of a bug looking at me from over the top of my windshield wipers. It was so tiny but I knew that it was looking right at me through the glass. I stopped the car, got out and looked and there was this very small dragon fly. ( Aaron sends dragon flies as a sign from him) It turned its head as I came around to it as if it were following me, then it flew away. I was thrilled to see this sign from Aaron, yet I was feeling greedy, I wanted more, even just a quick hello from him passed on from Melanie. So, I went to the Open Reading and it was amazing as usual. The messages that came through for the people there, were astounding. But, nothing from Aaron. Even though I did not hear from Aaron, it is still very affirming and uplifting to witness this connection for everyone there, but I have to admit that I was a little disappointed not to hear from my son. Melanie said that he must be busy because it seems that every time that there is something big going on in the world, he becomes quite, so we think that there are others that need him more than me right now with the anniversary of 9/11.
The next morning I arrived at Beaver Lake for an event that I was working. As I approached my trailer that I work out of and went to unlock the door, there sitting near the lock was a single dragon fly, as if it was just waiting for me to arrive and say good morning and do you "get" it now? I guess that Aaron had another lesson for me this day. I really had to go back and appreciate the miraculous effort that he makes to contact me, no matter how small or how big. It's not for me to dictate or be disappointed that the connection is not in the manner that I was looking for, but to accept any sign, in any way that I get from Aaron and to cherish each and every one.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
I was getting ready to leave to work at the Golden Harvest Festival; it was the year following Aaron's death and I was still pretty much in a fog. I hadn't quite adjusted myself to always be on the look out for signs and I don't think that I was totally convinced that we all "get" signs; we just need to be open to them. I still needed to be reminded often that Aaron was around me and that I could recognize it.
Before I left for the day, I was looking at some sunflowers that I had planted; because they made me think of Aaron. It was the first time that I had grown sunflowers and I loved to look at them and think of Aaron. As I drove to Beaver Lake, I was crying my eyes out. Seems like the car is one of the places that it gets to me the most. I was driving and crying and asking Aaron, to please send me a sign today, I really need a sign to get through the day. " If you really are watching over me, please send me something today; anything, just let me know that you are there."
I arrived at Beaver Lake, parked my car and started walking towards the festival. All of a sudden, I started to notice something quite strange all around me. Every where that I looked there were sunflowers: a huge arc of sunflower balloons as you entered the festival, sunflowers on the scarecrows placed through out the grounds and all of the volunteers had sunflowers on their shirts. It turned out that the theme for the event that year was sunflowers. As I walked around and saw these sunflowers everywhere that I looked, I felt as though Aaron was all around me; as though he had placed each and every sunflower just so that I would see them and know that they were from him. Needless to say I was overwhelmed, but, I know that he had a hand in making everything fall into place at just the right moments so that I would not miss any of it. He works so hard to make sure that we are okay. I remember that day so well each year when I take out my sunflower shirt to wear at Beaver Lake.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
I was sending a text back to Melanie, how happy I was that she saw the heron but disappointed that I haven't seen one. As I was actually composing the text, a dragonfly landed on my knee and was looking right at me. Seriously? A dragonfly;( which is another sign from Aaron), found me a midst all of the thousands of people at that fair?
Love that boy.