Share Your Journey
This is a place where I hope that as you read about my miracles that you may want to share your stories as well. Every validation no matter how grand or how small will lift your heart. Please leave your comments or email them to me at email@example.com , and I will share them too.
My husband and I were living the ultimate American dream. We had a wonderful family and were proud parents of four beautiful sons. We were so busy enjoying and living life. It was springtime and everything was a buzz as we were making final plans to support two of our boys; who were members of the Syracuse University Men’s lacrosse team, as they competed in the National Championship Games. Then without warning our lives were shattered. Everything that we knew and trusted was ripped from our grasp leaving this unimaginable gaping hole. In the spring of 2008 our son Aaron was killed in a motorcycle accident.
At that time I was not convinced by any stretch of the imagination that there was anything after death, but I also could not accept that he was taken from us. I knew that I had to find a way to fix this horrible tragedy, but how? The hurt was indescribable. I just could not get my head around that this was it, he was gone. How could that be? He was our son, he was supposed to be with us, we were supposed to take care of him and protect him. This pain was too much.
A few months after Aaron’s death I met a Medium, Melanie May and as we later learned, our meeting was completely orchestrated by Aaron. I was reluctant to trust in the abilities of a medium but on the other hand, I would do anything, take any risk to try to get my son back in anyway that I could have him. When I met with Melanie, she told me things that changed my life completely again. She told me things from my son that no one else could know. She told me specific thoughts that I had had about a book that I was reading, and she described in detail the plaque that his dad was making to honor his life. When speaking on the phone she told me right down to the color of the clothes that I was wearing, where I was standing at the moment and the description and color of the coffee cup in my hand. The messages from Aaron that he told Melanie to relay to me were specific and current. He told her to tell me these things so that I would trust that it was really him, and that he was still with me only in a different form. This experience was so foreign yet so very consistent with his personality and his way of doing things. Aaron was always bigger than life. You knew he was there even before he entered the room. With Aaron, if you knew him, you got all of him, all great big 6’3, here I am package. So, his methods of getting his messages to me and the things that he told Melanie were as if he were right there in the room with me. He was so insistent and demanding at times that Melanie would start to shake if she tried to put off his requests for her to call me.
Aaron told us that there was a much bigger picture to all of what has happened. Part of this bigger picture is that I would write about my miraculous journey, to help others to know that our loved ones are still with us, only their physical life ends. My journey of miracles has happened so that I could know that my son is still very much with me and with us all. I have documented each miracle and message, they are true and as they happened. Many times I would doubt that this could really be happening, thinking that I have made up each message because it is what I so desperately wanted to hear, only to receive the next validation proving to me again and again that he is there.
I have found my son again, or I should say that he has found me and at his insistence I have opened my heart and my mind to this different world.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Open To Change
So, as I was mowing the lawn last week, I heard a thought; clear as a bell in my head that said, "You're living only in the dead". Hmmm. I really thought it was just my own conversation with myself in my head and that was all. My next thoughts went straight to; " I need to be more present with my boys, I haven't been there 100% as I should be". This realization hit me as if a light went off. I didn't even realize it or admit it before, but I have been pretty self absorbed in my world of hurt even though I didn't think that it effected anyone else. I continued tho think about this as I finished the lawn, sometimes psyching myself up to charge ahead and start to live life again to the fullest, then my thoughts would drift back to thinking, 'What's the point?"
The next morning, I received a call from my dear friend Melanie, and she had some harsh scolding from my son. Even though Aaron hasn't been around lately with many messages, I guess that I knew that there was somewhere in that fact too, a lesson for me. I have had this constant pecking at me (that's how I describe it, because it won't go away, it just keeps coming back even though it is slightly uncomfortable and you really don't want to deal with it). Somehow, I knew without discussing it with anyone that Aaron has held back from his many and constant messages to force me to move ahead with life. I knew this in my gut, but I really didn't want to acknowledge it, not to anyone.
So, when Aaron finally did show up with his messages for me that morning, it really wasn't anything that I hadn't already heard him telling me- I just didn't realize that it was him all along. As Melanie started to relay his message for me that morning, she was hesitant because she did not want to offend me. "Aaron says that you have your heels dug in and your fists are clenched; you are not accepting that this is your life now. It can't go back to how it was." Ha, that's Aaron. No sugar coating things with that boy. But, I knew that what she was saying was true, I just didn't think that I was ready or willing to say it out loud. Aaron, obviously had been patient long enough and was determined to push me forward. Not that I am a willing participant, but really, who can fight with that?
So, I made a vow to myself to really try to be open to this new acceptance, even though I didn't say that I agree with it, but that I will make an honest effort.
The next morning I got myself up and out the door; off to Melanie's office to get back to work. As I entered onto the highway the first thing that I noticed was a truck going by me in the opposite direction- "Aaron's" it said on the side in big blue letters. Immediately after the truck passed, a blue heron flew right across the road in front of my car. (The blue heron is the bird that Aaron sends as a sign from him)
I know that he likes to act all big and tough with me sometimes, to help me face the hard stuff. But at the end of the day, he always backs it up with great big "Aaron" hug.